OMG! I think I have Trichotillomania

As part of my morning Hour of Power routine, I normally listen to some personal development audio or pull up an inspiring clip from youtube. This past week I've been watching videos from a guy who works with people with unusual fears or complexes and frees them from their own behaviors. One of those videos feature a woman who has trichotillomania, or an obsessive compulsion to pull out her hair.

It gets worse, because she's been pulling out her own hair for years, she's actually developed some bald spots that she cleverly has to cover with hair thickening aids. Not only does this poor woman unconsciously pulls out her hair, she actually eats it afterwards! As they described her story, the showed some video of her reading a book when she suddenly begins to play with a small portion of hair near the back of her neck. When asked if she feels pain from pulling her hair out, she responded by saying that because she's been doing it for years, her brain understands what she is about to do and numbs the area so that she feels no pain.

O.k. so now I start panicking. Why? Because I have developed a habit similar to her (no..I..am..not..eating..my..hair.) Usually on drives home, or when I am sitting at home in front of the computer, I begin to "detangle" by hair with my fingers.
There's nothing wrong with detangling with our fingers, in fact, in Long Hair Learning 101, we all learned that detangling with our fingers is much more conducive to protecting our lengths. The problem with me is that when I detangle, something deep down inside expects to see a shed hair or two in every small section. I examine every hair lost during the process ever so closely to verify if the casualty was the result of shedding or breakage. If the hair was shed, I smile secretly knowing that I just saved myself the heartache of what could have been much worse in the long run. If the hair was broken, I curse my heavy handedness and move on to another section in search of more shed hairs.

Take a look at this expert from an article:

Gary R. Gaffney, M.D., associate professor in the Department of Psychiatry at the University of Iowa College of Medicine, explains that other, less dramatic features that fall short of hair pulling are associated with trichotillomania, including examining the hair root, twirling it off, and pulling the strand between the teeth.

You are probably thinking..."there's nothing wrong with that, you're just making sure your hair stays healthy." The problem with my little "habit" is that I do it at the most in opportune times. Looking back, I think the process is more therapeutic then hair related. The reason why I say that is because while I'm driving home, I usually have a million thoughts running through my head and I'm probably not consciously thinking about what I am actually doing. I sometimes even detangle my kitchen area when I am sitting in a business meeting Who knows? I am actually be pulling my hair out and not even know it!

The other night while "detangling" in front of the pc, my husband walks by the room and goes "why are you pulling your hair out?" I quickly respond by saying, "I'm not pulling my hair out, I'm detangling." I then proceed to discount his the quality of his vision for wrongfully accussing me of such an obsurd behavor (but what if he's right?)

When I am really detangling my hair, like before a visit to the Dominican Salon or something, I stand in front of a mirror, I break out my extra large comb and I take my time to carefully work out the shed hairs from the ends up. Yes, I do examine the shed hairs but I don't put as much emphasis on the individual hairs as I do the finished product. When I'm engaged in the mindless detangling,on the other hand, I run my hands down the length of the shed hair to verify the cause of loss. When I'm involved in an official detangle I quickly asses the hair with a quick glance and only verify when a glance isn't enough.

Since I am probably reaching that grey area that lays somewhere between presenting lots of information and babbling, I end this post with some good news. If I do have trich, I don't have it that bad, I've seen some pictures online and believe me, it ain't pretty. I don't think I have trich but knowing what I know, I've decided to consciously avoid my behavior before any thinning or baldness occurs (thank God I have no thining or bald areas unlike most trich sufferers). I used the technique featured in the youtube video and it seems to be working. Going forward, whenever I detangle, I will avoid doing it when I'm not completely focused and only conduct the activity in front of the mirror where I can remain in the present moment.

What do ya'll think...am I crazy?

I am so over airdrying (and Mane & Tail product review)

Alrighty....as part of my winter hair care routine I decided to give air drying another chance. Well I'm here to tell you that I failed miserably. Not because the airdrying process itself was bad, but because there were certain obstacles that I just could not overcome. Over the course of my air drying journey, I was able to defeat the dryness and brittleness that once plagued my airdryed hair. I even felt hopeful once I found my beloved shea oil which kicked up my airdrying results to the next level. But alas, I was not willing to combat the most stubborn of my airdrying enemies- tangles!

Because of my deep seated fear of combing wet hair, I would constantly end up with a mass of stubborn tangles once my hair dried. Add to that the fact that I was nearly three months post my last relaxer. I had an inch or more of curly new growth that basically wrapped itself around other hairs when shed. Not to mention that fact that I was minimizing most of my combing action in an effort to avoid excessive breakage. Long story short, I found myself unknowingly creating dread locks while avoiding excessive manipulation.

Finally, while strolling down the aisle of my local Sally's beauty, I decided to ask for help. You see, I am the do it yourself kinda girl who normally avoids special aids and tools to get the job done. Under a normal frame of mind, I would have easily blocked out an hour or so to undergo the painstaking task of detangling my knots. But this time I was desperate. Before leaving the store , I asked one of the African American female employees for a recommendation on a good detangler. After thinking for a few moments, she used a lifeline and asked her AA female counterpart. I could hear their brains working as they desperately were searching for the answer. Finally, a Hispanic male, who overhead the conversation from the stock room, came to the rescue with his Mane and Tail recommendation.

"Of course! Mane and Tail," I thought to myself, they make pretty good quality products so I had no problem giving it a go.
I used this product on dry hair which had not received a thurough detangling in weeks! You could just imagine the pain I went through. The pain wasn't so much physical as it was mental. I kept thinking, about how much hair I would lose during the process. At any moment, I could have easily given up, whipped out the scissors and commenced to proceed with the big chop.

In all my frustration, a glimmer of hope came in the form of the Mane and Tail. That stuff loosened my shed hairs like nobody's business. I was extremely pleased to say the least. This product definitely receives my recommendation. What I appreciate most about this product is that I was able to get the job done with little casualties (breakage) to my hair. For those of you seeking a detangling aid (and I believe that we all should have one) Mane and Tail is for you.

(Muchas gracias Sally's guy!)

Is your hair feeling a little under the weather? Maybe this will help.

We've all been there. Experiencing the feeling of dread and disdain that creeps up within us when we know the inevitable has to take place.....
We fight it every step of the way but we know that in the end, we must come to fully accept it......its time for a trim.

To me, trimming our ends is very much like taking much needed medicine. Just like taking your medicine, you require a trim once the symptoms start to show. Just like any sickness, the severity of symptoms can vary from person to person but overall, the signs are pretty much the same.

Dry, brittle ends
I'm not talking about "you should rub some moisturizer in" dry, I'm talkin about "your ends give you splinters" dry. If you find that all of your moisturizing efforts are rejected, its time to take extreme measures. Remember that one of the habits of beautifully haired people is to always assess the state of your hair and to determine what actions you need to take. Like taking your medicine, you want to catch the problem early and knock it out before things get worse. Ends that won't behave are a sure sign of a need to take action.

Consistent Breakage
It never fails, whenever I am experiencing consistent breakage that can't be influenced with the help of even by finest hair products, I know its time for a trim. Once I've done the deed, I'm able to miraculously run my fingers through my hair and glide the comb through with the greatest of ease. I'm thinking this has something to do with the strength in numbers theory. Think about the cord, individually the strands are weak yet together, they are able to withstand hundreds of pounds of pressure. If we allow our ends to remain uneven, we are essentially putting the hair at risk of more breakage. That's never a good thing. Think of breakage as a symptom. The more severe the symptoms, the more in need we are of taking our medicine. Avoidance will only lead to further pain and suffering.

So knowing what you know, it only makes sense for you to take a moment to allow it all to sink in. Like doctor who has delivered difficult news to her patient, I'll take a moment to answer any of the myriad of questions that may be running through your head.

Q: Can't I just wear protective styles so I don't have to trim?
A: Perhaps, but if you've allowed the damage to run rampant, you will only be hiding damaged ends. Much like a cancerous infection, you should consider whether cutting out the damage is your only choice. If you chose to hide the problem, you may not be getting to the root cause of the issue. Once you get tired of bunning, you will still have damaged, uneven hair.

Q: What if I deep condition on a weekly basis, will that help?
A: Again, it depends on the level of severity of the damage. If you are not experiencing positive results with deep conditioning, you will have to consider your other options.

Q: What about all the length I've gained? I don't want to loose it.
A: You are probably losing length as you wait around for your ends to get better. Excessive breakage means that you are losing length. You are not doing yourself any favors by allowing the pain to continue. Trimming now will actually help you to retain length in the long run.

Q: How much will I have to trim?
A: You should trim as little or as much as your hair requires. Like taking medicine, when you start feeling better, you can adjust your dose. As you begin to trim, analyze your ends. Do they look and feel healthier? You should always start with the lowest dose and increase as required rather than overdosing from the beginning.

Take care of your ends and your ends will take care of you. Believe me, taking your medicine won't feel good right away but soon you'll find that you can once again experience the spring in your step you once had.

**side effects include: thicker healthier ends, reduced breakage, fuller hair, increased instances of compliments, and a greater feeling of self-esteem.****

Shea oil, a mo' betta butta!

I'm spending this week in Atlanta visiting friends and family. I came to Atlanta armed with powerful intentions. Among them was my desire to stumble upon some hair goodies unique from those I can find back home. While browsing the local shops and stores, I quickly realized that Atlanta is probably the translation for "Land of Shea Butter." Everywhere I went I found some form of shea butter which is a good thing because I recently rediscovered the awesomeness of this nut.

I first purchased shea butter about a year and a half ago and quickly lost interest. That's because the butter was hard and difficult to work with. Then summer came along and slowly my shea butter began to soften. I remember the day that I first dipped my finger into the soft, buttery, creamy, shea. I could hardly believe that this was the same product that I nearly threw away just months before.


So here I am in ATL and my very first purchase within hours of my arrival is shea butter. I'm talkin' the natural stuff in a container with no label. Fast forward a few days and I find myself in a natural food store in front of their massive shea butter collection. This time I'm drawn to a bottle labeled "shea butter oil." I couldn't believe my eyes. Is it possible that I could have the softened form of shea at my disposal year round?

I sampled the oil with my fingers and simultaneously experienced sensations which only surface during late night hours with my significant other. The feeling was incredible. It took only a millisecond before I swooped up two bottles and proceeded quickly the register.

Even now as I type, I'm having visions of using this product when I air dry. My friend and I were caught in a down pour as we strolled the streets of the Little Five Points Shopping district. Needless to say my hair got wet as we ran to my rental car. A feeling of fear and dread came over me as I contemplated what my hair would look like as it dried. I had no scarf to tie down my hair, I also had no blow dryer. What I did have was my liquid shea.

As soon as I arrived at my friend's place I quickly made a beeline to her bathroom with shea oil in hand. The first experience using this product on my hair was magical. The consistency of this product was unlike other oils I have. Liquid shea is opaque and thicker than any other oils. I would describe it as a creamy oil. It feels extremely rich and moisturizing to the touch and my hair seems to love it.

My hair was damp when I used it last night so the oil acted as a sealer on top of the water. This morning my hair feels extremely moisturized. I'm also experiencing less breakage as I run my hands through it. Needless to say that I am a very happy girl. In fact, I'll be stopping by the marketplace today and picking up another bottle (or two).

Long live liquid shea!

My (work in progress) airdrying routine revealed!

In last post, I explained some recent changes to my hair routine including the decision to airdry for the duration of the winter season. I made certain to clarify the fact that I once swore off air drying for the rest of my days.

Why?

Because my hair would always end up looking all crazy....
Because I could never get my ends to look right....
Because the middle of my head would dry days later than the rest of my hair....
Because the middle of my head would tangle into a million knots....
Because I could never really produce any type of decent style as the result of an airdry....
Because I never analyzed the airdrying process and how to perfect the results.

For the longest time, airdrying for me meant having to sport tangled unattractive hair until my next wash. Then came the day I realized that this was not the way to live. I knew in my heart of hearts that airdrying could mean healthier lengths. So I had to find a way. It was an absolute necessity!

Over the past few weeks, I've played out various scenarios in my mind of how I can create a decent result from air drying. Some of the scenarios I've tried have worked well. Some of the others were not as I had envisioned. I'll take you through my thought process. This may take a while so go grab a cup of hot cocoa and make yourself comfortable...


For me, the biggest obstacle to decent results was my inability to tame my ends during the drying process. My method of choice was as follows: After washing and conditioning, I would comb the hair back into a ponytail (while damp). Because of the fragile nature of the hair while wet, I used a (very) large tooth comb. I would then grab the loose ponytail and pull the hair up towards my crown and pin to the back of my head. Then I’d grab a satin or silk scarf and tie it around my head as a means on managing the new growth. After a few hours of drying, I would remove the scarf, take down the ponytail and use the cool blast setting to help dry the middle section of my hair.

This picture is when I airdry with one ponytail. Here I've pulled the hair up towards the front of my scalp and secured it with a bobby pin.


In this pic, I actaully parted my hair down the middle and created pigtails. This is one side, the other side of my hair looks exactly the same. Whenever I chose to airdry in pigtails, I pull the hair up towards the sides instead of straight up the middle. When I do it this way, the center of my hair seems to dry a little quicker. Once the hair is secure, I tie a silk scarf and go on my merry little way.


Both of these pics were taken while my hair was still damp.

This method has some obvious pluses and minuses:
Pluses:
+: My once wild and crazy new growth became as tame as a little lamb.
+: I spent much less time then I would have if I were to rollerset the hair.
+: The hair set in a relatively straight pattern. I didn’t have to flatten the big hair I normally experienced with a rollerset.

Minuses:
-Because I dried the middle section of my hair with a hair dryer, the sleekness I created with the satin scarf was compromised. In other words, the middle (and back section) would poof out depending on how moist it was when I loosen the ponytail.
-The large tooth comb I used did not allow for ample detangling power before tying it down. This meant that I still had to contend with viscous tangles later on in the process.
-I never used any direct heat tool once the hair was completely dry, in most cases, I would end up with straight hair in the front and sides and textured hair in the middle and back sections.

I have since modified my routine in order to increase effectiveness. What I’ve done as of late was to create two pigtails instead on one ponytail. With pigtails, I can detangle the two halves more easily in effectively. Once I’ve created the pigtails, I take the loose hair from one side and pin it to the other side of my head and vise versa. What I aim to do with this step is to have the loose hair pinned neatly to my head so that it has some structure in which to dry. It’s the structure that helps to create straighter hair.

I’ve also included a final step to my airdrying process that helps address the thick hair issue that I experienced in the middle and back of my hair. Caruso steam curlers. Please be warned that if you use the steam curlers on damp hair, you will only end up with damper hair. The hair shaft will continue to swell as the moisture is absorbed and you will experience frizz. If you chose to use any type of steam related curlers, YOU MUST WAIT UNTIL THE HAIR IS COMPLETELY DRY.

If steam curlers are not your thing, you can also choose some of these other setting options:
•Large flexi rods to create large curls or to bump the ends.
•Satin covered sponge rollers (again your hair must be 100% dry or frizz will happen).
•The low setting of your flat iron.
•Large Pocahontas pigtail braids.
•Bantu knots
•You can wrap your hair
•You can place your hair in a bun (before bunning, you want to thoroughly detangle and moisturize; otherwise, you may be causing more issues when your shed hairs and your tangles meet.)

My airdrying routine is still a work in progress but I am confident that I can tweak and adjust the routine to create the results I want. Those of you who have managed to put together a process that works, leave a comment and share!

My devious plan to kick up my hair growth this Winter

Next week will make two months since I've last relaxed. Right now I'm battling a ton of new growth. Its been said that hair grows fastest in the warmer months than at other times of the year. I've decided to keep charging towards my goal this fall/winter by taking purposeful actions to keep the growth a comin'.

Last year I suffered some major set backs with my hair. This year has been all about rejuvenating the health of my hair. Next year will be the year of beautiful hair!

So how am I gonna get there?

I've decided on three actions.

Winter for me means dry itchy scalp. My dandruff is unbearable. One of my chosen remedies for this issue is coconut oil. I read online about the anti fungal properties of this oil and decided to implement this new way of using coconut oil right away!
Not only does rubbing the oil on my scalp help curb my dandruff woes, I'm also subjecting myself to a soothing scalp stimulation at the same time. And we all know what scalp stimulation leads to boys and girls.....growth!

I especially focus on the front areas of my scalp because my of seborrheic dermatitis which can cause dryness and peeling around the hair line. I've massaged my scalp with the oil several times a week for the past several weeks and I already can tell the difference in the new growth and with the flaking.

My new job has me on the road for most of the week. Because of lack of structure, I fell off the vitamin wagon hard. When I worked at an office, I would pack healthy meals and salads for lunch. Now I'm on the road grabbing what I can or eating the decadent food from a nearby restaurant. I'm slowly adapting to life outside an office by pickup up some healthy foods and convenient snacks, but I was struggling to get back to the days when spinach was a staple for me.

I decided to take decisive action in the form of liquid vitamins. No longer will I have an excuse not to take my vitamins. Now I only need to take a capfull of the liquid nourishment once a day. At my previous job, I could pop my vitamins in the privacy of my office. Now many of my lunches take place in a group format. No one would believe that I could consume upwards of seven pills at a time simply for the sake of my overall health. With my liquid formula, I simply pour a little into my drink or I take a spoonful at breakfast. Don't get me wrong, I still consume some pills, but with the liquid vitamin, I can miss a day or two of taking the pill form of my vits, without feeling guilty all over. Not to mention the fact that supplements in liquid form are far more readily absorbable in the body than vitamin pills.

Last but not least, I've stepped back from my weekly rollersetting routine and shifted to more frequent washings and air drying. The reason for taking this action was two-fold. The main reason was because of my ever growing dread for the amount of time a full wash and set required. The other reason I am on a rollersetting hiatus is because I wanted to round out my growth increasing actions with more frequent washes. Its only logical to conclude that the more often I wash my hair, the more growth I could experience. More washing means more conditioning, more conditioning means more moisture, more moisture means less breakage. Along with the increased levels of moisture, my frequent washings also subject my hair to further instances of scalp stimulation as I rub in my
scalp treatments in with my finger tips.

Airdrying is not my method of choice for styling. I need to clarify that statement by saying that I once loathed airdrying. This new (and temporary) wash routine has forced me to come face to face with my enemy and find a reasonable compromise. We are not where we need to be but we've come a long way from our shaky beginnings. Airdrying, for me means less hair loss during the wash (because of the reduced level of manipulation) which is why I decided that I had to make peace with this styling method. The time I save by airdrying is also a huge plus for me which makes it possible for me to wash twice a week instead of weekly.

These shifts in my hair world are relatively minor but I am extremely confident in the outcomes arising from the changes. Its all about asking yourself if what you are doing now will get you to the results you want. For me, the answer was no so I decided to take action. Once I'm where I need to be, I'll once again shift and evolve with my hair.

Thanks for listening.

Four Neato Ways to Incorporate Natural Oils into your Wash Routine

Picture perfect hair is the name of the game and plant oils are a critical factor in helping your hair reach its peak. Ever since I discovered natural oils such as jojoba, avocado, coconut, just to name a few, I've had a blast incorporating them into every facet of my hair routine. No matter how I decide to use these oils, I always get a fantastic result.

Here are some of my favorite ways of incorporating oils and the corresponding result of each method.

The Pre-poo!
The pre-poo is a staple in my hair routine. This method is a simple one of adding a moisturizing conditioner and oil onto dry hair before the hair is washed.

How-to tip for pre-poo:
Make sure that you take the time to section the hair properly so you can saturate the entire head of hair. Don't go using up your fancy $100 bottle of conditioner for this step, any old conditioner you got laying around will work fine.

How it benefits your hair:
This step adds much needed moisture to dry hair right off the bat. By pre-pooing, you avoid stripping natural oils from already dry hair. You're adding a layer of protection before harmful suds of a shampoo can strip your hair.
Another benefit of this step is the freedom of allowing conditioner/oil to treat the hair up to several hours before the actual wash. That's more time for the nourishing qualities of the oil to further penetrate the hair and work its magic.

Oil/Conditioner Mix!
When my hair is in need of a little umph, I mix a little oil with my deep conditioner. After the hair has been washed, I add a few drops of oil to the conditioner and run through my hair.

How-to tip for the Oil/Conditioner Mix:
Select the right oil for this step. Because you aren't shampooing it out (like with the pre-poo), you must gauge how heavy or light of an oil you want to use. Using a thick oil like castor oil, for instance, will give you a different result than if you use coconut oil. You also want to make sure that you use only enough oil to compliment the conditioner but not to overwhelm it. Make sure that you use more cream conditioner than oil in this step.

How your hair will benefit:
This step leaves your hair well conditioned but with a nice feel to it. You hair will feel as if it has an extra layer of protection. The oil will work to help seal in the moisturizing effects of the conditioner at the most opportune time, when the cuticle layer is open. It doesn't get any better my friends!

The HOT Oil Treatment!
This is a simple process which involves warming up an oil blend for use on the hair either just before or after the conditioner.

How-to tip for the Hot Oil Treatment:
Avoid using oil that is too hot. Please respect the fine line that exists between opening the cuticle layer using the right amount of heat and causing unintentional damage from searing your poor tresses with boiling hot oil.

How your hair will benefit:
This method is said to benefit hair which is extremely dry and damaged. The heat allows the oil to penetrate deep. The right kind of oil can help revive hair requiring a little more than a simple pre-poo.

The Oil Rinse!
The technique for the oil rinse is much like the oil/conditioner mix but instead of mixing your oil and conditioner, you are adding oil to the freshly washed hair after the conditioning step. So you wash, condition, then add a small amount of oil to the hair before rinsing the hair with warm water.

Oil Rinse How-to:
Just like the conditioner/oil mix, you should test this step out with various oils until you find the right one. Because you are not washing the oil completely out, you could possibly be left with oily (even weighed down) hair. On the other hand, if you plan on airdrying and need something a little extra to help combat dryness, this rinse may be just what you need.

How this will benefit your hair:
This process is said to have some amazing detangling properties. Not to mention the fact that you probably won't need to finish off your hair with oil in order to style it. As your hair dries, the oil will sink into the hair and help you create the perfect look. I also find that oil helps my hair dry a little straighter when airdrying.

With four separate ways to implement natural oils into your routine, you just can not go wrong. I probably would not use all four steps in one wash session. The most I would probably do is two at the most, the pre-poo and maybe one additional method if needed. You could even alternate methods each wash. Its whatever you fancy.

Remember to have fun finding the right combination for you and keep trying until you're are able to meet the needs of your hair.

Be Blessed!